Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got lucky!
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use small words and speak slowly.
7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath, I pledge it to the end.
Why? You may ask
"Because you are my friend".